Tag Archives: poem

Fool

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The Hour

The creases in the blanket are proof of our longing

An empty canvass made interesting by the colors of our burning passion and our desire to be loved back

I didn’t have to close my eyes in that dim-lighted room while my tongue examined the edges of your lips

Because you were already looking before I even wished for you to stare back

Pulling your greasy hair was not an establishment of dominance

Not even an attempt to get pleasure from the sheer roughness of it

I was just looking for more ways to wrap myself around you

Because I wanted you to know that I wanted to own you, and how I wish that you pressing your face down my neck hard was you saying you wanted to own me as well

Even if what’s physically left were creases and drops of sweat on that wooden floor, I may still have something to look forward to:

a chance at reliving an almost supernatural experience, if the odds would have it, with you, or with someone else who can also show me that such precious hour can be fucking true

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Stones (Music Video/Short Film)

Video synopsis: A young woman with a broken heart goes to the beach to unwind, but ends up being distracted and annoyed when she couldn’t find the other pair of her flip flops.

Song title: Stones
Singer: Sham Kitma
Composition: Sham Kitma
Lyrics: Reynaldo Pagsolingan

Music video/short film written, directed, and edited by Reynaldo Pagsolingan

Lyrics:

The stones I buried under the mattress, they creak through the night
I’ve kept them all for a long time, loving and hating them at the same time

Tears wash but misery is amassed
It’s suppose to be lighter, but I’m heavier than ever

I’ll catch a bird and fly w/ it
Away from troubles, away from the wet pages
I’ll throw the stones one by one
I won’t pick them up
My smile is opening up
I’ll sleep soundly tonight

The stones, they’re baggage, they’re nothing but garbage
I knew going out for air is good but I can’t get up, my drive has stopped

Tears wash but my face looked crushed
I thought it doesn’t get better but it’s true it’s not forever

I’ll catch a bird and fly w/ it
Away from troubles, away from the wet pages
I’ll throw the stones one by one
I won’t pick them up
My smile is opening up
I’ll sleep soundly tonight

Don’t pick them up
The days of the past shouldn’t again turn up
Loosen up
The noise of the past
has been put to a stop

I’ll catch a bird and fly w/ it
Away from troubles, away from the wet pages
I’ll throw the stones one by one
I won’t pick them up
I will say goodbye
I will smile
And throw it all away

https://thebrilliantworm.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/stones/

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Mamayang Gabi

Sa pagbaba ng dilim sa lupa, ang ilaw ng mga bituin ay magmumukhang diwata sa paningin, ang liwanag ng buwan ay magiging kaibigan, at ang huni ng mga kulisap ay magiging hele sa pandinig

Pero sa paglipas din ng mga oras ay mapagtatanto na ang lahat ay disensyo lang sa paligid na walang hatid na sagot sa ingay ng pag-iisip

Ang mga mata ay mapapagod sa tingkad ng kutitap at ang dalawang tainga ay mangangati sa tono ng kawalang kahulugan

Sa gitna ng madaling araw ay lamig na lamang ang susuot sa kaibuturan -dahan-dahang kakainin ang natitirang apoy na sinindihan ng nakaraang hapon

Ang mga buto naman ay pigil na magtatanggol sa nanginginig na laman, at sa muling pagsilip sa kawalan para manlaban sa kahinaan ay makikitang patay na ang liwanag at pagod na ang ingay ng mga insekto

Kaya sa umaga ay maghihintay ng kasagutan sa nakakagising na mga tanong at kaguluhan ng isipan, umaasang may matitira pang lakas mula sa pagkain ng gabi sa kamalayan

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Freedom X

I’m a victim of my freedom
Without remorse,
I’ve wasted people’s time
I broke promises and hearts
I only listen to myself
sometimes

In wanting too much of it,
its power has overtaken me

I go home too late
Watching people
Validating myself
Drinking too much
Filling my lungs
with smoke and fun

Crossing lines & boundaries,
I’m digging myself
an early grave
The scythe is coming
for my neck

I have forgotten
where I came from
I have lost people who
once set my soul on fire
I thought I only needed
myself to survive

Well, I still believe that
sometimes half, sometimes wholeheartedly

And this writing, by the way,
isn’t a cry for help

I just want to say
I’m probably dead

When I’m seen
being terrible,
insensitive,
irresponsible,
or even soulless

It’s my freedom,
not me

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Love II

I threw lit cigarettes
where trash
and fire should be
Leaving fear behind
I am seeing the sun

I’ve wrapped my arms
around someone new
No googly eyes
No stink of drunken past

I’m hearing a sweet voice
whispering across the room
Clueless of where it
would lead me
A sad story or a party

But I’m cutting
my heart open
to see it bleed
to see it burst
to see it jump

To see it
beating
shaking
crying
flaming
wondering
gasping
alive and
just singing

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Wings For Fire

I broke my bones to numb the pain
I bit my lip to stay awake
I crossed the line to hope, to live
But you pushed me off the cliff

You are my sea of fire
You are my sea of fire
You clipped my wings

I moved my things for a change of phase
But I found myself looking for your face
Now you’re gone and I’m not the same
Somehow, I think it’s for the best

You are my sea of fire
You are my sea of fire
You clipped my wings

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Live

Drop the tears
Make ugly faces
Release
Change is coming

Run away
Listen carefully
Your heart beats
Smile with ease

Open your eyes
See the beauty
The world bleeds
but make peace

Hug and kiss
The room is full
Touch everybody
but do it for free

Open doors
Be cautious
but polite
Sincerity is key

Life is a garden
With flowers and shit
Sleep on the grass
Breathe

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Getting Out for Safety

I.

Woke up at three
The cold kissed my lips
Your missing touch
brought me to tears

The other day
we fought and made up
Like water and oil
in a goblet

You said you love me
but it’s not enough
Our differences are
stoning our home

Maybe it should fall
down and be rebuilt
We need to go out
We need to be set free

II.

If you look for answers
and can’t find me there
I would understand
Things run their course
Love can’t break this curse

If in the morning you
still can’t bear me a smile
If in the summer you
couldn’t rain w/o the thunders
Let’s put on our shoes and
leave the house
The door will be closed,
but always know that my
arms will remain open

III.

I will wait but will not
hold my breath
Hopeful but not stupid
My love for you is strong
but my heart tires

In your soul-searching,
I still hope you would
find me there
‘Coz there’s still a lot of love
that’s left in me

IV.

If you look for answers
and can’t find me there
I would understand
Things run their course
Love can’t break this curse

If in the morning you
still can’t bear me a smile
If in the summer you
couldn’t rain w/o the thunders
Let’s put on our shoes and
leave the house
The door will be closed,
but always know that my
arms will remain open

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The Crack

The ground opened a crack
I found myself curious
I looked inside
It was pretty dark
Hollow
A bit sad
Everyday I stared at it
Until the time came
My right foot fell off and
I was stuck

I cried for help
Waving my hands like
A fool
It was painful
Drips of blood came out
Still, no one came

Then the aching stopped
Or so I thought
Then I painted dirt on my leg
And then on my thighs
I drew black skies on my waist
I was amused
Not bored
Dirt painting for a company
Like cigarettes and coffee
I was alright then
I accepted it: the ground that bit my foot was my life

Until helplessness
Hopelessness
Loneliness
Came like sad thunders
I realized,
I had to get off the crack

I chewed off the skin of my left arm
Took my human gloves off
And started disentangling
the white thick twigs
Then I sharpened them using the ground like sand paper
‘Til blood and unpointiness disappeared

I sliced slowly
Then cut forcibly
I attacked and attacked
Until I freed myself from it

As I was about to leave
I fell down and hit my head hard
I woke up woozy
I started crawling
Parts of my body gone
I cracked a smile
Feeling triumphant
Without realizing
I am not whole anymore

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